My Life's Mantra

Several miserable attempts at playing basketball and soccer brought about the establishment of my life's mantra.

I rot at basketball...really rot. Ask me to shoot from anywhere on the court: I'll rock it! Ask me to dribble in between my legs like a spider: I'll destroy you! But ask me to shoot with pressure, or dribble in motion and I morph into a indescribable mess. Don't even get me started on soccer. In college, I discovered that the head UMaine men's soccer coach who instructed my "Methods of Teaching Soccer" course mocked me to his entire team, laughing at how uncoordinated and basically unteachable I was. Right about that time, I instated my life's mantra:

THOSE WHO CAN'T DO...TEACH!

If I could take it back, I would. But a life mantra is not to be taken lightly. I mean, it defines you, right? It becomes your blood, your air. There's no escape. It's like a bad hair-do; your friends will never let you forget it...especially your best friend.

When I student-taught PE at Bangor High, I'd always find out which students were sports team starters and have them demonstrate the skill for the day. And when I long-term subbed PE at Brewer High, the only time I did the demo was for floor hockey, ping pong, shuffle board or walk-jog. Those who can't do, teach.

This week was a humiliating documentation of my life's mantra. I shamefully type on......

After scouring my small town to find a job, I realized that I was out of luck and that I'd have to wait till the summer to start working again as a raft guide. So, you would have been as stunned as I was to get 4 phone calls from places wanting to hire me...all in less than a week. I first heard from the YMCA in Dover (a 50-minute drive one way) wanting me to personal train and lifeguard. While on the phone arranging an interview with the Y, I ignored a call from the hospital in Greenville (a 2.53-minute drive one way) asking me to drive the ambulance. On a trek to Bangor, I got a call from Moosehead Messenger, the local paper, wanting me to be their advertising sales representative (I never put an application there; they just like me, I guess). After all of this, I was asked to sub (a phenomenon because I hadn't heard from the Greenville school system since the first week of December).

***BACKGROUND: For 2 years, I facilitated college students' growth in the area of boundaries. I helped them practice saying "Yes" and "No" appropriately, how to separate other's emotions/responses from their own, and more of the like. Looking back, I thought I was one hot ticket with boundaries.***

Sam gave me his input on which he thought would be the best fit and I decided to act. I solidified my position with the ambulance, agreed to sub for that day, and planned on calling the YMCA. I mapped out my future conversation with the Y, and it went something like this: "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I've enjoyed talking with you over the phone and learning more about personal training. But after talking with my husband, I have decided to remove myself from the application process. I wish you the best in finding someone to fill that position."

Somewhere between hitting the send button and talking, I became overwhelmed. I thought, I've rescheduled once already. She's arranged her schedule to meet with me. She'll be disappointed if I cancel, if I back out, if I say "no." I don't want her to be disappointed. I have the power to make her happy. I want her to be happy. I need this perfect stranger to be happy. I can't cancel. I jut CAN'T cancel. I must say "yes."

When she answered, what came out of my mouth was something like this:
"Hi, this is Tara Heffner. Are we still on for Thursday? What time works best for you?"

THOSE WHO CAN'T DO....TEACH!