Morning Musicals with Sam

Many people probably think that I would be the source of entertainment in our newly wed household. I'm sure that NBC could create a gut-busting TV series about my life in Greenville. I don't know exactly what name would fit. My vote today is "Morning Musicals with Sam."

Yesterday, Sam trotted down the stairs to the tune of "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To." Not a huge surprise, really, until he belted out every word. Astounding.

Then there's this morning. As he sat down to breakfast I thought I heard a little 90's ballad under his breath. That's right. He was singing the 1992 hit by Right Said Fred "I'm Too Sexy."

Both without accompaniment.

Chocolate Lies

Dove dark chocolate just lied to me. The nerve, really. The little chocolate expression on the wrapper thought it was complimenting me, but it was far from the truth. I know my fair skin tone and have painfully realized over the years which colors tend to make me look jaundice. Dove doesn't know anything. I do not look good in red. Guess I'll have to eat another chocolate to wash away my disgust!

I Beg to Differ

The Chelsea Milling Company dares to display "America's Favorite" on its red, white and blue Jiffy Box, presumably to display genuine patriotism. If its claim is true, then I must be an illegal alien!

This morning, Sam and I found 2 Jiffy Muffin mixes in our cramped cupboard. (Honestly, I have no idea where they came from; I never made the purchase.) Delighted, we discovered that we had blueberry and apple flavored. The box proposes that we could make pancakes from the mix. Lie number one! If you call a crepe-like consistency speckled with imitation fruit a pancake, well then I retract my accusal.

I tucked in my pouting lip, convinced that making muffins out of the second box would bring Jiffy redemption. Let's suffice to say that 1 hr, 2 lies, and a sink of dirty dishes later, I settled for a bowl of cereal.

Church Candy

Ever wonder what goes through people's minds at church when they choose to open the loudest candy wrappers during the quietest part of the service? Do you think they intentionally grab the packaged Runts and stale peppermint stars? Or are they the genuine diabetic who has a diaper bag full of emergency uppers? What really gets me is how they try to open them oh-so-slowly, elongating the dreaded "crinkle-crinkle" up to a minute's duration. Why not get it over with like a Band-Aid? Or fake a sneeze or cough as a cover-up?

Sam and I have found the solution to smuggling in church candy: Ziplocs! Open up those nifty little wrappers before leaving home, dump the sugary contents into a snack-size ziploc...and TAH-DAH: quiet candy at your fingertips! Well, quiet of course until we start chewing the hard candy...or until I steal a pink Starburst from Sam!

Simply Irresistable

There's something astounding about communicating into random space with the hope that this strange system, which we call the "world wide web," will display personal commentaries for the entertainment of internet browsers globally.
Addictive and simply irresistable.
So here's my BLOG: Heff T Hoots. Designed to describe reality for you with a smile.